I don't like it and I mightnever like it, but I can't change what's already happened."Penny started to say something but I stopped her."No! I said, let me TALK! You just listen. When I'm done, you can haveyour say, but now it's MY turn. Now. I am gonna come back in and I amgonna try my best to make things work out. I'm gonna make mistakes andI'm gonna screw up. I'm a kid and that's what kids do, okay? What Idon't need is any more grief from you, or Jim, or even Harry. I'm gonnado what I have to do and I'm going to deal with this as best as I can.Bottom line? I'll do what you ask, but you gotta ASK it, not TELL me.You can't imagine how difficult this is for me and you should consideryourself lucky that I'm even bothering to go this far."I paused to collect my thoughts and Penny remained quiet."Penny, I'm a 17 year old BOY! Remember that! Yeah, I look like a lostcenterfold from Penthouse(tm) or something, but I'm a GUY and I have 17years of BEING a guy to try to overcome. It's not. At first I thought she was trying to get my attention by always sitting in my field of vision. I never caught her eye, though and I never saw her glance in my direction. Finally, after not writing anything for several days, I decided she wasn't there for my benefit. Oh well, another fantasy shattered all to Hell... She did have to walk right by my chair on her way back to her apartment. At least, she did after I discovered which gate she used to leave the pool. It took me all night, but I rearranged the entire pool area to make her walk by a certain table, and then I had to get to the pool in the early afternoon to be sure somebody else didn't get 'my' table. But I managed it. Day after day that summer, right after the evening breezes would pick up, she would gather her things and clack-clack-clack right by my table. Lot of good it did me.We didn't speak to each other for weeks, months. Not a glance, not a nod, not a sign of recognition for the masterful job I had done of rearranging.
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